I finally called out the white elephant of resistance sitting in my space today, thanks to the help of some great psychic friends. Isn’t it funny how we can be the effect of something for so long, even when we are aware that we are giving our power away?!

I’ve been aware of this on-going resistance for months, even years, off and on. Specifically, I’ve been resisting doing anything creative, or acting upon my creative urges, ideas and inspirations. While I have consciously wanted to put ideas into form and translate my being into doing, I also experience an underlying energy of not wanting to do it. If I were to give this resistance a voice, it would literally say “I don’t want to do it!” Just like a kid resisting what a parent tells them to do.

Today I looked right at this resistance, whereas previously I was mostly resisting the resistance. Isn’t it funny how we do this?! It’s so easy to become the energy we’re experiencing, especially when that energy is resistance! So the white elephant (of resistance) came out of the closet, finally, because I said Hello.

I also found the right question to ask. Often we do not see or recognize an answer to a problem because we are not asking the right question. With the help of friends experiencing similar resistance levels, we were able to find the question(s) that unlocked the door(s) of resistance. We asked ourselves these questions, beginning with one and moving on to the next as we discovered answers: “What energy is preventing me from translating my Being into doing?, What am I resisting? Where did I first experience the energy I’m resisting? What can I offer this resistance, and the energy it is resisting in order to transform or release the energy?”

What I found within me was both amazingly simple, seemingly obvious, yet ingeniously hidden. Isn’t it funny how we (our ego) hide from ourselves?! When I looked right at the resistance without resisting it, I discovered what I was resisting. I found that I had been mostly unconsciously resisting academic energy and rules. Ha! Of course. It makes so much sense once we give ourselves space to be neutral and say hello to the energy we’re experiencing. I say my experiences as a young child and adolescent in school, having to conform to the rules and regulations of society and school. These rules, and my resistance to them, were sitting right in my will/energy distribution/action space.

When I looked further, I noticed that the protocol/rules/academic energy was perceived by me as a young person/student as invalidation, because there was no space, or permission, for me to explore and express my creativity freely. Because most of my Being, my creativity and essential nature, were either completely unrecognized or blatantly invalidated as a child, I associated rules and academic structures of “getting things done” with pain/invalidation. There it was, the purple cow riding the white elephant!: along with the resistance, I discovered loads of invalidation.

The process of healing or transforming this invalidation and resistance can be summed up in one word: forgiveness. And, as always, it really came down to forgiving myself. I saw a quote today by Carl Rogers that touches upon this. “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” Until I am able to accept–or forgive–myself no matter what, I cannot change something I see within myself.

Today I practiced accepting and forgiving the resistance I have/had toward society’s rules about how to do things, and the structure and discipline I experienced in my school years. I also accepted/forgave the invalidation I experienced in relationship to that energy of rules and academia. This practice was and is a huge step toward shifting the pattern of resistance I’ve had toward doing. And, while I may find other energies as I continue to ask the questions I asked today, I know that my willingness to see and release those energies has increased dramatically because I have stepped out of a great deal of resistance. For that, I am celebrating!

Lately I’ve been experiencing a sense of greater and greater timelessness. It’s not every moment, just when I slow down enough inside to notice the truth. On the surface it seems that days and weeks, months and years are going by faster and faster. And during each day, I’m often bewildered by the speed of things and the un-graspable sense of urgency simmering below the surface of our busy lives.

It seems so many of us are living like hampsters, anxiously chasing our tails around in a glass box or on a squeaky treadmill. We’re racing around to get to the next appointment, the next goal, the next feel-good moment. I’m often caught up in this sticky game of chase-the-ghost-of-time. But more and more, I’m reminded to slow down, slow everything down inside, and become aware of timelessness.

From this expanded, serene space I can re-enter the seeming race, the chaotic symphony of a world on fire. From this space I can know, and I can be grounded. And from this space I can choose to love, all the time, no matter what thoughts and experiences pile up in my view.

Today is Valentine’s Day, the day we remember and celebrate love in its many forms. But the form of love that we are here to remember, and to choose in every moment, is the Love that is timeless, the Love that is Truth, the Love that is infinite, the Love that Is. On this day, I am reminded to celebrate the many ways I can express and embody Love.

The more we choose Love and share it, the more we recognize our timeless/infinite nature. Being in touch with our timeless/infinite Self shows us the reality of our freedom. When we own and celebrate this freedom, choosing love in every moment becomes easy and natural. When we operate from our freedom, we see that there is no time not to love, because love is our freedom. Choosing love all the time allows us to move at our own pace, to be at cause rather than the effect of the world spinning fast and furious.

This is my (long and happy) mantra today: breathe. slow down inside. notice your infinite Self shining and smiling in you always. celebrate this Love and freedom~ choose it, have it, own it, Be it, express it, and share it.

Happy Valentines Day!

Love Always,

Jean

I’m always telling my older son to focus. I watch him while he’s doing his homework and I observe my own frustration in response to the way he works. “He’s all over the place,” I tell my husband. If he’s writing a paper, he’ll write a few words, look up and play with something on the desk, reach over to the computer and surf You-Tube for a while, go back to the paper he’s writing for a few more words, reach for the phone and call someone, fold some origami, back to the paper he’s writing for a few seconds, then on to his iPod, then he’s up walking around… Exasperated, I tell him, again, “You’ve got to focus! How will you finish your work and make any sense of it if you’re ‘all over the place?!”

Aaah but he’s not the only one. Like mother, like son. I, too, can do things in a rather circular, multi-task, ‘all over the place’ manner. There’s nothing wrong with it, unless you really want to accomplish something And I wonder, is this the creative process unfolding, or a major avoidance tactic? Am I resisting the task at hand, or giving my thoughts and creative ideas space to ruminate, organize and manifest in their own time and their own way.

I guess the barometer is in the results: is anything getting done? Sure, we may not need to produce results quickly all of the time, so this round-about creative technique may be suitable and appropriate sometimes, but what about efficiency and production. Where do these come in to the creative process? And how can we balance productivity with our creative wandering?

Ok, maybe I’m deluding myself. Creative wandering is a cute term but, really, it could accurately be called avoidance. And, given that I became most aware of this pattern while observing my son’s exasperatingly long homework deliberation, he could call it “I’d rather be playing video games,” and I could call it “I’d rather be done with this!”

Remember those bumper stickers, “I’d rather be…(fill in the blank)”?

How often do we, as souls, have that attitude toward our human incarnation? What is it we’d rather be doing? Do we notice how often during the day we think, consciously or unconsciously, “I’d rather be…”? How often does our mind wander away from the present, and what it is we are currently engaged in, and think “If only I could be doing something else, then I’d be happy or at peace.” And, do we even notice if we have the “I’d rather be” attitude towards our entire incarnation?

As souls, we plan our lifetime before we incarnate. We meet with a council of advisers, guides and spiritual friends who help us decide what experiences and relationships will help us learn, grow and serve the best way possible. We set this up from a place of neutrality, outside the time and space of incarnation, and, often, by the time we’re in the midst of our incarnation, experiencing the relationships and tasks we planned as a soul, we forget our high ideals of growth, learning and service, and would rather just hightail it outta here! It’s easy to think about doing something, but to actually do it can be a whole other matter, especially when confronted with the slower manifestation process in physical form, not to mention the karma we must confront and complete! As souls, we may think “It’s taking too long, This person will never change, No one’s listening, This place is Crazy!” And yet, we have a purpose to fulfill. Our incarnation is not random, and if we can focus and stay on task, there is much growth and fulfillment to be had.

Take a look at your greater purpose. What did you come here to fulfill or accomplish? What lessons are you learning, or avoiding? How much growth are you willing to have? Can you allow yourself to have more?

Because you are here, at this time, you chose as a soul to incarnate during the most growth inducing time in the history of mankind. There is more potential and support and inspiration and movement for spiritual growth, awakening and service than ever before. You chose to be here, to be part of the amazing transformation that the world is going through, so that you, as a soul, could also have that transformation. Are you staying focused? Is part of you saying “I’d rather be…” or are you fully here, committed to your purpose and the task of your soul’s incarnation?

Distractions can take many forms. It’s up to you to discern if any seeming wandering has a creative purpose, part of a gestational cycle, or if you’re spinning your wheels. If you are in competition with yourself or others, you are likely to distract yourself because your purpose cannot be fulfilled in competition. Be gentle on yourself, but don’t delude yourself. We are all here for a purpose. Outwardly, that purpose manifests differently and may appear big or small by the world’s standards. Yet, inwardly, each soul’s purpose is equally great, equally important, and absolutely necessary for the soul’s evolution.

Your freedom lies in being here fully, and giving everyone space to be here as well, right where you are, right where they are. There is nothing to escape, and nothing to out-do, beat or win. Ascension happens not by “rising above” the world, but by fully coming into the world, fully inhabiting your body-mind, with no resistance or attachment, fully owning your incarnation and your power and creativity as a soul who’s “been around the block” enough times to know more than the world may want you to. If there was nothing else you’d rather be doing, no where else to go but right here, how much freedom and focus would you have?

If you allowed yourself to be fully here in the chaos of the dream, your power and creativity would be unlimited, because you are unlimited. When you fully arrive here, you will see the limitlessness of you and your purpose will be fulfilled. And you will truly know your freedom.

I love to play fun, happy music and dance with my baby. One of our favorite children’s albums to listen to during this joyful ritual has a song that is essentially a blessing of peace to all. The loving energy of the song inspires many blissful moments for us, as the singer, Snatam Kaur, sings from a heart full of God. She sings of how “the sun shines on everyone: it doesn’t make choices.” And how “when we pray, we pray for everyone: we don’t make choices.” These lines always trail in my mind, leading to other thoughts about the importance of making choices in life.

In the song, the line “we don’t make choices” refers to giving and sharing with all, and not excluding or selecting out anyone from your sharing of divine love. When I hear that one line repeat alone in my head, though, it sounds confusing…We don’t make choices? Of course we do! is my next thought… our lives here on earth are all about choices. It’s a funny line really. The words in lyrics are often chosen by how they fit rythmically, and how they flow poetically. They are metaphorical, not necessarily literal. I understand what is meant in this song: that love is to be given to everyone, without exception. Her choice of words, however, can be misleading when the part of the chorus “don’t make choices” repeats in your mind after the song is over.

We all make choices, every day, every moment, but what are we really choosing? What are our choices about? Why do we sometimes think “I don’t have a choice,” or have difficulty choosing for fear of making the “wrong” decision? There’s really a lot of energy on this thing we call choice!

When making any decision, or reflecting on choices made, it’s important to recognize the different levels of choosing. In form, in the world of physicality, we seem to have a myriad of choices, a multitude of “things” to choose from. In western culture, especially, we are bombarded by millions of options for our food, entertainment, electronic tools and toys. There is so much to choose from! And then, of course, there are all the decisions about direction and goals in our life–how and with whom we spend our time. Our choices in this realm can often be complex, having many factors to consider, possible outcomes to ponder and repercussions to ruminate. Our choices on this level can fill our mind with many “what if’s” and uncertainty if we are not also aware of the most basic and true source of our choosing.

In Spirit, there is no choice, there simply IS. This is the level which Snatam Kaur’s children’s song was referring to. Our only choice in regards to Spirit is to accept, or have, that which is, that which we already are, or not. We can attempt to choose not to have Spirit, thereby making up multitudes of illusions of fear. Our choice against Spirit does not, and cannot, change, affect or eliminate It, but it does effect our experience here in the world and the complex choices we make here. If we make the choice that cannot be, the choice against Spirit, we are choosing for and with fear. If we choose to accept and have Spirit, that which we are, we are choosing for and with Love. This is a simple choice, one or the other, but the joke is that the “other”(fear) does not actually exist, and since you can’t choose what isn’t, there really isn’t a choice! There’s just Spirit, All, Love, Wholeness, Oneness.

Ah, but back to the world of multiplicity, duality and complexity that we appear to be in…where there are so many choices and so much to discern. How can we know what is the right decision on this level of form? Should I take this job or do that instead? Should I continue dating this person or see someone else? Will I attend this event or make these other plans? There are many important decisions in life, and yet, the most important aspect of any decision is to recognize first where you are choosing from. The first decision is to choose from Love, from That Which Is, or from fear, from that which isn’t. When we choose from Love, our decision will bring or extend peace, joy, well-being, harmony, freedom, healing, validation, and of course Love! When we choose from Love, all the details–the “fine print” of our decision in the world–become clear and simple. When we choose from Love, we have certainty and peace of mind, we have clarity and ease. If there is doubt, guilt, shame or anxiety, it is a sure sign that we have chosen from fear.

Fortunately, we can always choose again! Each time we notice worry, uneasiness, uncertainty, guilt, anything like this, we can go back and choose Love: choose to have That Which Is, that which We Are. From there we may remake or keep our decision about something in the world. But, once we have chosen to have that decision in and from Love, we can be certain our decision in form will bring more peace to our mind, regardless of what it is. Yay! That’s fantastic!

Ultimately, all choice boils down to love or fear, Truth or illusions. The way to recognize what we’ve chosen is to notice if we are at peace within ourselves or not. If we are not, we can choose again and restore peace to our awareness by choosing Love. In this way we can also make all of our choices here in the world, from the daily details to the major life decisions, with greater ease and certainty. When we first choose Love, the rest follows gracefully.

“Seek first the Kingdom of Heaven and all else will be added unto you.” The Kingdom is Love, Truth, Reality, Oneness, That Which Is. Choose to have this, and your road here will be clear. May we all remember the choice for Love in all of our choices.